By Paolo von Schirach
February 21, 2014
WASHINGTON – Chinese authorities raised the Beijing smog alert to orange this week. This is close to the highest level (red). By US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) standards, this degree of air pollution is equivalent to 378. In America, any level beyond 300 is considered hazardous. By World Health Organization (WHO) standards the level of air pollution now recorded in Beijing is 9 times higher than what is considered minimal safety. So, we are not at crisis level, (In January the level reached 500 on the US scale); but it is pretty bad.
Smog protects China against an American attack
Well, not to worry, observed a Chinese military expert. The good thing about thick smog is that, should China be attacked by the US laser weapons, (we all know that this is a serious threat), the smog would deflect the beams, this way providing an excellent defense against an aggression by the evil Americans.
How about that? I am sure that now all Chinese city dwellers feel a lot better. “The air is foul. Our children and parents get sick. But, hey, we are protected against an American laser attack, the event we all fear and that keeps us awake every night. Think of that! Thank God for smog. We need more of it.”